Tag Archive for tory

William Hague Gay? On The Evidence, He’s Not The Only One…

Having not been keeping up to date with the news of late (mostly because neither of us are die-hard cricket fans), this half of SB managed to catch the tail-end of Newsnight last night, whereupon I stumbled upon this incredible story that William Hague might be gay.  Indeed, the speculation has been so rife, that his adviser/alleged lover, Christopher Myers, has resigned, & Hague himself has felt it necessary to publish a humiliating statement with regard to why he & Ffion remain childless after over a decade married.

William Hague a Homosexual Gay?  Let’s Check The Hearsay (Or “Facts”, As The Media Put It)

The “evidence” for this homosexual activity appears to be based on three points -

  • Myers is young, handsome & apparently under-qualified
  • Hague & Myers share a hotel room occasionally (keeping expenses down, one might argue)
  • The below picture

hague39911 450x270 William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

Tenuous proof at best; indeed, if one is using a picture to prove Hague’s homosexuality, we’d suggest this one -

haguecamp William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

And if this is all the proof you need, then the following people are all gay, too -

blair William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

brown William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

thatcher William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

cameron cocks William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

baracksogay William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

jinnah and gandhi 400 1 William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

hitler William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

arafat saddam hussein 1 William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

gay William Hague Gay?  On The Evidence, Hes Not The Only One...

Bumlords, one & all…

The Storm at Cameron Towers

Updated from an earlier blog by Chris…

*knock knock*

Cameron: Come in.

Aide: Dave, have you seen the…

Cameron: Yeah, I’ve fucking seen it. Why is Lardner such a dick? Why is my party full of such DICKS?

Aide: Sir, we tried to tell him to…

Cameron: I don’t fucking care, you slimey little tit! Why the fuck was he TALKING?

Aide: I… I don’t know.

Cameron: Did Lardner get the memo? In fact has Grayling even got the memo yet, after his little ‘oops I forgot what was sensible and opened my shitting gob again’ incident?

Aide: The memo?

Cameron: YES the fucking memo! The memo about…

*searches in desk drawer and finds dogeared A4 sheet*

THIS memo! Ahem.

*reads from crumpled paper*

“Hello Bellends. I don’t know whether any of you have fucking noticed but we’re trying to win a fucking election, here. How many times have I told you guys to keep your fucking mouths closed?! It’s not fucking rocket science is it? It’s not even stem cell research! It’s common fucking sense! ALL TORIES HAVE VIEWS THAT ARE OUT OF LINE WITH COMMON OPINION IN THE 21st CENTURY AND ITS BEST FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED IF WE STOP TALKING. I hereby order every single one of you motherfuckers to shut the hell up until I’m in number 10, alright?! Cheers, and fuck off back to work you useless shower of aching cockholes. Dave.”

Aide: Oh yeah, that memo.

Cameron: *pinches top of nose* I mean, what is it with you lot? “ooh, we don’t like sitting in standard class with the smelly normal people – single mums might give me AIDS”, “ooh, people should be ABLE to turn poofs away from their B&B if they want to, but I support people’s rights” And NOW we’re being quoted saying benders aren’t NORMAL! WHERE DOES ALL THIS SHIT COME FROM?! DO YOU TAKE A MONTHLY FUCKING VOTE ON WAYS TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A CUNT? *throws memo at the aide’s face* Now, I want you to photocopy this shit, Steve, and I want you to post it into the gobs of every Tory MP, front OR back bench, every party member, every person who has ever even considered being a Tory. And you are to tell them that they are not to remove the paper from plugging the ugly fucking hole that adorns the the front of their gormless fucking faces until I am Prime Minister. Do you understand?!

Aide: Yes.

Cameron: Erm, pardon?

Aide: Yes.

Cameron: Well if you have understood me, where the fuck is yours?

*Aide stuffs paper into mouth and leaves.*

Cameron: Christ.

Former Election Posters

Just been browsing online for political titbits, & I found an article on The Telegraph’s Website (I know, sorry).  It has some of the good, the bad & the libellous used by various political parties/biased journalists from down the years, but my favourite one has to be this poster.  I remember seeing it as a teenager, & realising that bit where the two heads of John Major meet, look exactly like a vagina.  Wondering what sort of message Labour were trying to get over, it suddenly became apparent – “John Major is a two-faced cunt”.

Just thought I’d share that with you.

Being Gay "Comparibly Dangerous To Frontline Action"

Wow. After Chris Grayling’s idiotic remarks with regard to being allowed to run a B&B & be homophobic at the same time (anyone seen him since he said that, out of interest?), the Tories are at it again.  This time, it’s Julian Lewis, claiming that the age of consent for practicing homosexuals should remain at 18.  His justification?

“My reasoning was that there is a seriously increased risk of HIV infection arising from male homosexual activity.

“When it comes to legalising practices that involve serious physical risk, I believe the higher limit should apply.

“This is the reason why we no longer allow 16 and 17-year-olds into front-line situations in the armed forces, for example.”

Call-Me-Dave could’ve seen this one coming; Lewis also voted against giving gays (& indeed, unmarried people) adoption rights.  Cameron gave his MPs a free vote on this issue, & whilst I dislike the whipping system generally, I suppose, at times, it has its plus points.

Having, not an hour ago, watched Cameron give a Party Political Broadcast, where he stated we should be free to sack our failing MPs, might I suggest to him that he saves us the bother & does it himself?