According to the Daily Mail, pornstars are getting in on the act with the new iPhone 4. Ads have been placed for workers in the US to use the gadget’s new ‘facetime’ calling feature – which lets people call another iPhone 4 user and have live video conversations over a Wi-Fi connection – to develop a video-phone-sex service. Nice. Presumably they’re planning to charge for it, but Ashley Cole could still potentially make a tasty saving on picture text costs.
Apparently, many of the sexy companies are even offering to give away a free iPhone 4 for new employees. (so that rules out left handers, then…)
Now, some of the models have already cited a couple of problems with the plan… They told the Mail they think it’ll be difficult to give ‘customers’ a decent ‘service’ because you can only film your face, or one body part at any one time – and most people want to see it all. So we’re now left wondering how long it will be before someone tries to sue Steve ‘Hand’ Jobs for ruining their sex life, because they can’t get off to the chick on their phone… Well we all know what he’ll say, don’t we?
“You’re holding it wrong“.
Spandex Ballet already use the iPhone 4′s new front-faceing camera feature to great effect. We use it to send eachother ambiguous pictures like this one:
Thanks to those of you who’ve been sending us bits of footage from shows here and there. We’ve just seen the first one to be posted from our appearance at Hitchin’s Rhythms of the World festival last weekend. Thanks to Michelle for posting!
If you have any videos of us playing live, please point us in it’s general direction!
A massive, massive thank you to everyone who came to see our show on Chris Ripple’s ArcadeEclectic stage at this year’s Rhythms Of The World festival. We weren’t expecting anything like the audience we got, but we were even more surprised that you didn’t all leave in droves after my “warn-’em-early-doors” Maddy McCann gag.
A reminder that those of you who wanted an album & didn’t get one can either download it on iTunes, or buy it here. We love you all. Mwah.
More pics like this one at http://www.flickr.com/mangakamaidenphotography
Yes, that’s right folks. SB have been working hard today to write some brand spanking new songs for you all. We don’t want to give too much away, but I can assure you there’s something for everyone. They include ‘Googy Gaggy Baby’, our own take on Eurovision, and a song about call centres. And they say Radiohead are eclectic.
You’ll be able to hear some of the new material at Hitchin’s Mostly Comedy at the George (visit www.doggettandephgrave.co.uk for info) and of course this year’s Rhythms of the World Festival (more info at www.rotw.org.uk).
Yes, finally, our debut album, “Seriously, Don’t Release This” is available on iTunes. I’ve never been so proud as when I saw the red “Explicit” logo against more than half of the songs on the album – although not, oddly, against our stalkers’ ballad, “Freak You Out”, which has no less than 22 euphemisms for masturbating. Buy it now, & judge for yourself.
Edit from Chris: I find it amusing that iTunes felt the need to star out the word ‘Whores’ but ‘Slut’ was apparently fine. Haha.
Right. Autotune. So I can understand big fat record producers using it on bimbos with massive tits who can’t sing. I can understand the cast of the moronic cavalcade of cockrot that is ‘Glee’ using it. I can understand T-Pain using it for effect. I can even understand Cher using it (christ knows she’s had everything else enhanced, why not her voice?) But MICHAEL BUBLÉ?!
Why, Michael? Everyone knows you can sing? (Albeit like a slightly drunker, more orange Dean Martin) But you can sing, mate. So why on earth when watching ITV1′s appalling ‘an audience with’ show last night (hmm, who do you think would make the best audience for this Bublé show we’re putting on tonight? Ooh – I know! Cunts! Lots and lots of cunts!) was I subjected to the Bubletron3000 – a bizarre jazz-pop cyborg that looks like a man, but sings like a robot! They’d bloody autotuned him! ITV has taken a man who is arguably regarded as one of the pop world’s best singers – AND AUTOTUNED HIM! Well, at least I think they autotuned him. It certainly sounded like that to me. Here’s some evidence of what I mean. Watch for the really obvious bit at around 50 seconds:
Now, if I’ve got this wrong then can I say two things: 1) I’m very very sorry, Mr Bublé – I take it back, I apologise unreservedly. And 2) You have started to sing like a fucking robot, and if that is your new direction, I’m not sure it’ll work out for you. Kraftwerk nailed the art of robo-pop years ago.
This, to me at least, just seems like another example of production teams and people with no real understanding of musical dynamics inadvertently getting their grubby mitts all over music. Be it Bublé’s mum-friendly nu-jazz, Kesha’s teen-friendly synth-pop, or You Me At Six’s idiot-friendly turd-punk, it seems that everything needs to be synthetically enhanced before it’s considered safe for public consumption. Even when it comes to people who already have talent (okay, so scratch the YMA6 example, then). If I was Bublé I’d be furious. They’ve made him sound like a fake. I’m no Bublé fanatic – but I know he deserves more than being lumped in with the autotune-friendly pantheons of factory processed morons that populate most of the charts. Micky Bubble mate, I thought you were better than that.
SB (oh and in response to any digs referring to our use of autotune on ‘Be A Slut’ – IT WAS MEANT TO BE IRONIC, YOU SHITBOX.)
Eleven days ago, we launched a video to our tender ballad, “There’s Nothing Sexy About Faeces”, & we’re pleased to say that we’ve had a great response, reaching over 1000 hits – many thanks to any of you who have watched/rated/favourited it.
But imagine my surprise, when a friend posted to my Facebook Wall, the following message -
“Hay leon!! I’ve just come back from Spain!! I know lucky me… Anyhow met some new bods out their and one of them got well excited when we started talking music said you gotta see this vid on YouTube … Next thing I knew I was watching you and your mate singing about anul sex LOL … You don’t half get around!! Ps they were soooooooo jealous that I actually knew you I felt like a groupie ”
Fuck me, we’ve made it! In all seriousness, it shows that virals can & do work – here’s the video again. If you like it, please, please share/retweet it with any like-minded people – it really does make a difference.
It’s here! It’s alive! It’s pretty horrible! It’s Mark Garvey’s interpretation of our single ‘There’s Nothing Sexy About Faeces’! Please share with everyone you’ve ever met using this link: http://wp.me/pTAfW-w
Our friend Danny was thoughtful enough to upload some clips from our album launch onto youtube. And there was another one posted from ‘peoplearestrange’ too – We thought we’d share them all with you here. Enjoy:
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