After ten long years without a proper job, Dr Rowan Williams has finally found himself a real job, as Master of Magdalene College, Cambridge. In a press conference, & wearing his special pointy hat, he said, “It’s been a bitch of a decade, I can tell you. I’ve had to tolerate gays, women priests, & having to wear a dress to work every day for the last 10 years – I’m too brainy for this shit. I mean, the money was good, but I couldn’t look my mates in the eye down the pub; they’ve all got jeans on & I’m wearing A FUCKING DRESS”.
So who will take his place? Archbishop of York, John Sentamu (sporting his finest figure-hugging fuchsia satin dress) was quoted as saying, “Bollocks if you think I’m up for it – nobody comes to my gigs as it is”.
David Cameron was interviewed shortly after the announcement. He said, “I’m pleased that Dr Williams has finally got himself a proper job. I mean, I know he’s not a proper doctor or anything, but it just proves that in these austere times, even the elderly can get themselves a decent job, if they just hang in there”.