A Quick Rant About MasterChef

This half of SB likes to watch Saturday Kitchen of a weekend; as long as I shut my eyes & ears every time the Z-list celebrity of the week opens their mouth, that is.  I love to watch really good chefs making beautiful food, as well as fucking up the Omelette Challenge.  I also love the archive footage they show; Rick Stein & Keith Floyd being particular treats.  But recently, the programme has been showing footage of Celebrity MasterChef.  This I do not like.


MasterChef: Like Cooking, Only Without Actually Seeing Any Cooking

JohnTorode1 300x219 A Quick Rant About MasterChefI suppose I should start by saying I’ve never actually sat down & watched an entire episode of MasterChef, but the clips being shown on BBCSK confirmed my worst fears.  Much like its similar counterpart, Great British Menu (or anything with that trio of judges, who may be literally the worst people on the planet right now), the show seems to comprise very little actual on-screen cooking, & a hell of a lot of on-screen whining about not being quick & professional in the kitchen.


Celebrity MasterChef: Just Because They’re Not Real Celebs, Doesn’t Mean They Are Real Chefs

gregg wallace 300x264 A Quick Rant About MasterChef

The BBCSK episode that aired 11 February 2012 featured three people who are apparently celebrities (I hadn’t heard of any of them) who had been asked to cook a meal for three senior members of the Women’s Institute, who would then judge the food accordingly.  Here is my review -

- It was horrible – these pampered, middle-aged harridans complaining about decent food cooked by amateurs, whilst a pair of cunts shout at them like they’re cotton farmers beating their ungrateful slaves.  ”Cooking doesn’t get any tougher than this” – people should be encouraged to cook, not told it’s hard!  We’re in the middle of a financial crisis & an obesity epidemic, & this pair of wankers are convincing the country (via the medium of frowning & scary music) that if your lobster Thermidor comes out five minutes late, it’s a crime akin to the fucking holocaust.

Tune into the BBC’s new programme, “World’s Strongest Paraplegic”, where Geoff Capes shouts at “lazy” paralysed people who fail to lift a metal beer keg above their heads, whilst a low held bass note adds to the drama…


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