Buy Yourself An iPhone 4? You Selfish Bastard

In the quest to find something to blog about today (yes, work’s quiet for the half of SB without a proper job this month), I’ve been trawling some truly horrible websites this afternoon, including the British National Party (blog on this probably forthcoming soon), the Christian Party (still right-wing mentalists), & finally, The Daily Mail – specifically, Richard Littlejohn’s column.  It was here that I found this delightful column about iPhones and the financial downturn.  In it, he claims that if we, the general public, are happy to go out & spend £400-500 on a new iPhone 4, then we shouldn’t whinge about increased taxes to help pay for the National Debt.

Spandex Ballet: iPhone friendly, But Not Employed By Steve Jobs

Both members of SB are Apple whores.  We are Steve Jobs’ little songwriter bitches. I’m writing this blog on my (admittedly ageing) iBook G4.  I have an iPhone 3GS that I honestly couldn’t live without, an 80GB iPod (also on its way to silicon heaven), & an iSight that I don’t know how to use.  It looks nice.  Chris has even more than I do.  We don’t own these items because we’re trendy wankers (or, at least, we are not trendy), we own them because they are the best devices in their relative fields, & wanting the best for oneself is a Good Thing, not a Bad Thing.

Littlejohn: Closet Communist? iPhone phobic? Complete Aching Shitbox?

littlejohn Buy Yourself An iPhone 4?  You Selfish BastardThe general thrust of Richard Littlejohn’s article appears to be, “If you can afford luxuries, you can pay more tax”.  Here’s a quote -

Surely anyone who can afford £500 for a non-essential gadget can’t complain too much about having to pay a little more tax to get the country out of a financial black hole.”

I could wax lyrical here, claiming (among other things), that I don’t consider an iPhone non-essential (especially when you’re self-employed & constantly on the road), or that spending said money helps the economy, or that buying cheaper products is ultimately a false economy.  But I won’t.  Instead, I’ll say the following -

WHAT I DO WITH MY OWN MONEY IS MY OWN BUSINESS, YOU HORRIBLE MAN.  I EARN APPROXIMATELY FUCK-ALL, & STILL PAY TAX, SO THAT IDIOTS I DIDN’T VOTE FOR CAN BAIL FAILING BUSINESSES I DON’T USE OUT IN ORDER FOR SAID FAILING BUSINESSES TO AWARD LUDICROUS BONUSES TO THE VERY MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR SAID FUCK-UPS!  IF I ACCIDENTALLY FLUSH MY IPHONE DOWN THE TOILET, I DON’T MAKE THE ENTIRE COUNTRY HAVE A WHIP-ROUND TO BUY ME A NEW ONE, DO I?  THE TOP MAN AT HBOS CAN PROBABLY SHIT IPHONES OUT OF HIS ARSE ON CUE.  STEPHEN HESTER, HIS NAME IS.  HE’S GETTING £4.2M THIS YEAR – THAT’S HIS FUCKING PAY PACKET!  BY MY MATHS, THAT’S 8,400 IPHONES HE CAN BUY!  CUNT!

…and breathe…

3 comments

  1. Steam Ship says:

    What the daily mail’s favourite racist fails to note is that Iwhores, and iclones like the pair of you and that mad axe girl fail to realise that buying an iphone 4 is like buying a blood diamond. You see the cobalt required to make the Li-ion cell work is mined in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Yes the very same place which is the home for blood diamonds. So iphone, ipad and Steve Jobs lovers are in fact evil and responsible for all the ills in Africa. Yes Leon that means you – you are pure evil, that the Mills girl. You know her Mills, the one legger you think about when you masturbate, the same one whose bush you like to hide in – yes you Leon are Evil EVIL I say. You coming to the moon on Sunday?

    • admin says:

      Yeah but can you send emails or play Sonic The Hedgehog on a diamond? NOPE. In your face, Naomi Campbell – we got the better deal.

  2. Jon Barnes says:

    I hate this Man with a passion. With my hard earned money I might buy a 6 pack of eggs to egg him with (unless thats a waste of my money which i should be giving to taxes)FURIOUS!

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