Paris Hilton Tweets About Break-In… English Language Dies a Little More

Paris Hilton has been the talk of twitter for a number of reasons (yawn) but this evening, one tweet from her that caught the eye of the media, also caught that of SB.

parishiton Paris Hilton Tweets About Break In... English Language Dies a Little MoreThe night-vision-friendly “actress” reported that a maniac was trying to get into her house. According to US news sources,  a man was arrested after allegedly trying to break into Hilton’s LA home on Tuesday morning. Everyone’s favourite socialite told her Twitter followers “So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting him,” (Source: TMZ.)

With the bombshell of such lunatics loose on the streets of America, baying for blonde blood, SB has this advice for Ms. Hilton:

“IT’S KNIVES. K-N-I-V-E-S. IT’S PRETTY FUCKING SIMPLE, PARIS: KNIFE IS SINGULAR. KNIVES IS THE PLURAL. ALSO, WHY THE CAPITAL ON SCARY? AND ALSO, YOU GET WOKEN UP BY SOMEONE, NOT TO THEM. FUCKING HELL WOMAN, YOU IRRITATE ME TO THE POINT OF BLINDNESS.”

Sleep tight.

5 comments

  1. Mike says:

    I know people like Paris Hilton are a totally useless waste of resources like oxygen and water but the ones I really cannot stand are the ones who set her up as some sort of role model or icon. They are the truly unbelievable ones. Like the morons at V Festival who nearly rioted when the got Sean Ryder when they were expecting Peter Andre! I would have considered that to be a positive result!

  2. admin says:

    We would have preferred to have seen Peter Andre.

    Being battered live onstage by Shaun Ryder.

  3. Mike says:

    My brain is slowed by alcohol!
    for a moment I only read the first line!
    Then I grasped the truth of your comment!

  4. Not Mike says:

    Actually, you CAN wake up “to” something if that something is not the thing you were woken by. You can wake up to a day of housework, you can wake up to the sight of your loved one taking a dump in your sock, and so on. It’s entirely possible that the blond half-wit wasn’t woken by the armed man but on waking found him breaking in nonetheless, so she would have woken “to” (the experience of) a bloke breaking into her gaff. Having said that, the rest of what you have to say is spot on. She should really fuck off. And soon.

  5. admin says:

    Not Mike – absolutely, although the intruder would have to be in front of Paris (or at least in visual range) when she woke up, without him actually doing the waking. An unlikely scenario, but sadly, more likely than Paris fucking off soon.

    We live in hope…

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