The cat-loving world (or “women”, as they are better-known) is up in arms at the moment, due to seemingly unbelievable footage of a woman throwing a cat in a wheelie bin in Coventry, last Saturday. No one seems to know why the women threw the cat in the bin, but the fact remains: A woman threw a cat in a bin.
Cats Are People Too…
Time to come clean here; this half of SB is not a cat lover. Not at all. However, nor am I a fan of pointless cruelty to animals, so whilst I’m more comfortable writing an article on a comedy blog about a cat being stuck in a wheelie bin (as opposed to, say, a lemur, an animal I love), I do not condone the actions of this mystery woman (although she bears a mild resemblance to “that bigoted woman”, Gillian Duffy). Just thought I’d make that clear before the hate mail starts.
Felis Catus: Nature’s BTK? Maybe, But No One Put Him in a Bin…
Have a look at some of the comments on that link of the CCTV footage – they show a surprising lack of sympathy for the cat. Maybe we are uncovering two seething undercurrents of British culture: Those who think it’s abhorrent to put a cat in wheelie bin, and those who think cats deserve to be put in wheelie bins. (For the record, despite our mixed views on cats – neither half of SB is in the latter camp.) Here’s what people had to say:
Shane of Sydney Posted at 9:27 AM August 24, 2010
Maybe your cat is a massive pain in the arse to your neighbors and you need to control it.
ST BENNY of work Posted at 9:41 AM August 24, 2010
hahahahahahaaaaaaaaa thats funny
Rub The Owners Nose In It of My Territory NOT Yours Posted at 9:57 AM August 24, 2010
No excuse for cruelty (besides a swift kick up the bum) but FFS keep your stinkin cats under your control and not out roaming the neighbourhood killing wildlife etc and shittin in other peoples gardens. Why should others be forced to clean up after YOUR stinkin animals!!!
I think people might be missing the point here a bit; it is in a cat’s nature to piss & shit where it pleases, & also to kill animals (ironically, it will do so in a cruel manner, toying with it). Despite what my misanthropic Mother says, it’s not in our nature to put a cat in solitary confinement. Two wrongs don’t make a right (although we did hang Saddam Hussein, so maybe they do).
Cat In a Bin Motive: Monetary? Marketing Scheme?
Bill Hicks used to say to his audience, “By the way, if there is anyone here in Marketing & Advertising – kill yourself”. & having done a few minutes’ lazy online research, what did I find?
- Cat stickers for your wheelie bin
- A cat selling Crusha milkshake (Crusha, as in “Crusher”, as in what happens to rubbish when it’s picked up by the council)
- Some cat litter (including the amazingly-named brand, “Golden Grey Master”, who I always thought was the Level Three boss on the 1980′s arcade game “Shinobi“)
So maybe we’ve just been indoctrinated by the media to be cruel to cats.
I Smell a Rat (…a Cat Would’ve Caught it Had it Not Been Stuck in a Bin.)
But you know us at Spandex Towers; there’s always a bigger picture. Have another look at that CCTV footage. How crystal-clear is that footage? Whenever you watch Crimewatch, the footage of any in-store CCTV is shite! Grey, grainy images that can only suggest that the robber has no facial features whatsoever. The guy who owns the cat repairs mobile phones for a living, & lives in Coventry. He’s not a rock star, or a foreign dignitary – who needs CCTV this detailed in Warwickshire? Also, he obviously films 24 hours a day. Basically, I smell Chris Morris, or possibly Dom Joly.
One more thing, then I’ll let you go. I typed “Coventry News” into Google today, & this page came up. The cat story is first AND third billing. A stabbing, an escaped killer & a superbly ironic piece on a Fraud Officer being done for, er, fraud are all playing second fiddle to the cat. Priorities.
I’ll leave it at that.