Right. Autotune. So I can understand big fat record producers using it on bimbos with massive tits who can’t sing. I can understand the cast of the moronic cavalcade of cockrot that is ‘Glee’ using it. I can understand T-Pain using it for effect. I can even understand Cher using it (christ knows she’s had everything else enhanced, why not her voice?) But MICHAEL BUBLÉ?!
Why, Michael? Everyone knows you can sing? (Albeit like a slightly drunker, more orange Dean Martin) But you can sing, mate. So why on earth when watching ITV1′s appalling ‘an audience with’ show last night (hmm, who do you think would make the best audience for this Bublé show we’re putting on tonight? Ooh – I know! Cunts! Lots and lots of cunts!) was I subjected to the Bubletron3000 – a bizarre jazz-pop cyborg that looks like a man, but sings like a robot! They’d bloody autotuned him! ITV has taken a man who is arguably regarded as one of the pop world’s best singers – AND AUTOTUNED HIM! Well, at least I think they autotuned him. It certainly sounded like that to me. Here’s some evidence of what I mean. Watch for the really obvious bit at around 50 seconds:
Now, if I’ve got this wrong then can I say two things: 1) I’m very very sorry, Mr Bublé – I take it back, I apologise unreservedly. And 2) You have started to sing like a fucking robot, and if that is your new direction, I’m not sure it’ll work out for you. Kraftwerk nailed the art of robo-pop years ago.
This, to me at least, just seems like another example of production teams and people with no real understanding of musical dynamics inadvertently getting their grubby mitts all over music. Be it Bublé’s mum-friendly nu-jazz, Kesha’s teen-friendly synth-pop, or You Me At Six’s idiot-friendly turd-punk, it seems that everything needs to be synthetically enhanced before it’s considered safe for public consumption. Even when it comes to people who already have talent (okay, so scratch the YMA6 example, then). If I was Bublé I’d be furious. They’ve made him sound like a fake. I’m no Bublé fanatic – but I know he deserves more than being lumped in with the autotune-friendly pantheons of factory processed morons that populate most of the charts. Micky Bubble mate, I thought you were better than that.
SB (oh and in response to any digs referring to our use of autotune on ‘Be A Slut’ – IT WAS MEANT TO BE IRONIC, YOU SHITBOX.)