Women To Blame For Earthquakes (no, really)

I knew it.

They start off by introducing original sin into the world (“A snake told me to do it” = brilliant), and now they’re literally tearing up the earth with their promiscuity, or at least, so says Iranian cleric Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi. For those of you who can’t be bothered to read the link, he claims that women are “disappointing god” by dressing immodestly, and thereby causing adultery.

Sediqi really has no idea how lucky he’s got it, frankly – we in Blighty wait for those three glorious weeks in July, when the weather’s hot enough for the girls to start dressing like slappers.  He has that kind of weather round the clock, & gets wood at the sight of a calf muscle.  If he’d become as desensitised to sexuality as I have (mostly through the colossal amount of porn I watch), he’d need the average Iranian woman to be eating herself out to become aroused.  My message to him is to be grateful for what you’ve got.

One more thing this chap fails to address, is that it does, after all, take two to tango, and that maybe men might be at least 50% responsible for cheating on their own wives (who, in turn, are presumably also cheating, completing the self-perpetuating circle of – well, you get the picture).  If men aren’t the problem, then it’s obvious – Iran is a country infested with lesbianism, and therefore has no moral high ground to stand upon.  Or maybe Sediqi simply isn’t getting laid at the moment…

5 comments

  1. You might want to get one of these mugs for that special lady…

    http://www.cafepress.co.uk/jmoshop.235947214

  2. spandexballetband says:

    Oh my god, that’s brilliant!

  3. vacuum mixer says:

    i just found this blog. excellent article. how long have you been writing? this is good writing. are you a journalist aswell? anyway, thanks again. subscribing to the rss :)

  4. admin says:

    Hi Vacuum Mixer

    Two of us write this blog; we are a comedy band from England who like to vent when we can :-) One of us is a journalist, yes, but he didn’t write the above article; that was me (I’m a full-time musician/actor).

  5. Fascinating…and I agree with all of it. Keep up the great work…I will undoubtedly be back shortly

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